I live “What I Never Knew I Always Wanted.”  It may seem like a normal life to anyone else. But for me, there is nothing “normal” about it.  First of all, I am being myself: the whole Me, the true me, the Bliss of being Me.  I am not trying to please anyone.  Secondly, my life does not involve thinking.  I follow the feelings that my cells call to fulfill.  My body moves and I listen, watch and react to its signals of bliss or absence of bliss, autonomously adjusting to reclaim bliss. 

Riding the Bliss Wave is like riding a bicycle.  Minute changes in balance, coordination and direction give us a smooth and easy ride.  After a while the adjustments become routine and automatic. We notice our surroundings and the perfection of the forms that remind us how loved we are. 

After a while, we live like we ride: in love with bliss; without agendae, volition, judgments, fear or desire for control.  Brain programs that tried to control what happens have fallen silent.  They have been replaced by Nature’s codes for being exclusively me, exclusively bliss.  My brain is now an executor of Bliss Life.  I am one with Life’s experience of feeling loved, fulfilled and recognized by Cosmic SELF frequencies as Bliss, SELF-Love feeling loved. 

I first perceived the potential for human experience to be exclusively bliss when I was mostly dead.  That was fifteen years ago.  During the years of transformation, I received basic life support from some inexplicable source, way beyond my comprehension.  I was in too much pain to move, focus, notice the world around me most of the time.  But every so often, a window opened for moving just enough to look after my body.  I would receive clear guidance on when and what to do, know and live in order to heal and to sustain my life until the healing is complete. The source whose force kept me alive also taught me everything I know today about myself, the world, life, nature, truth and what it means to be incarnate in a human body.  

Truth came in tiny puzzle pieces. They arose in my awareness suddenly, like waves out of fog, or subtle shapes and colors that became feelings with meaning.  Slowly, they emerged into shocking, breath stopping, paralyzing self-recognition of truth about myself.  Information came in a new language.  The words were familiar, but they were strung together in sentences that were difficult to understand.  I knew I loved receiving their gifts of truth  because they made my cells resonate with an unqualified YES!  A few hours later, my brain erupted with new models of understanding, followed by death and destruction of falsehoods and days of rebirthing and recreation of new life, new consciousness, new signals of Life and new self-fulfillment for my body.  

Each false belief was first destroyed and recoded into truth.  I felt more myself with every stage of the healing cycle.   

Three stages of healing proceeded simultaneously, causing three changes in reality. False desires vanished from reality by electrocution and disintegration. The particles of cells that desired falsehood scattered and became metabolic waste.   The fluids of the body went into traumatic shock, when the unthinkable became real.  Mini aneurysms burst lymphatic vessels all over the body.  They felt like being fried alive by a high voltage power grid.  The last act of the failed would-be-god  was vengeance.  It mounted an all out attack by the immune system against the unrecognized forms of self-fulfillment.  In its delusions about reality, it mistook bliss for a lethal attacker, and, like a suicide bomber, it blew itself up.  

The first three stages of healing are beyond unbearably painful and life stopping.  Essential functions, like drinking, eating, talking, moving, swallowing, are suspended for hours, even days at a time.  The transformative stages of healing last as long as there are false beliefs, desires, pretenses or stories in cellular consciousness that remain to be recoded.  For me, this experience lasted for fifteen years.  

The next twelve stages of healing are imperceptible in conscious sensory awareness.  They manifest as deficits in clarity.  Missing signaling networks are recreated first, so that life can be lived, perceived and reflected as loved.  Had I known what staying alive entailed, I cannot imagine ever asking for it.  Now that the painful parts of the journey are over, I cannot imagine how I survived the first sixty years of my life.  Pretending to live, while both starving for bliss and suffocating in debris seemed easier because dementia doesn’t hurt.  But the steady decline to death that I see all around me is also terrifying.  I know I don’t have a say in whether to heal or decline slowly.   

I also know that this journey was not up to me.  I asked to live WINKIAW after I perceived it as an option.  I perceived it as an option after 45 years of searching for truth, researching healing stories, compiling the best kernels of truth I could find on the planet into a metaphysical healing method and practicing it for 20 years.  I know that my actual journey began at the age of 24, when I intuitively helped my 85 year old grandfather heal from terminal bowel cancer.   I had no idea what I was doing, and did not expect healing results.  But when he lived cancer free, for another fifteen years, I suspected there was more to my hidden gift. 

A new dream now replaces all former false ones that I cobbled together from glimpses I imported from the world around me.  Former dreams reflected what I was indoctrinated to want, value and become.  They were what the world called success.  They were unrelated to me, my nature’s dreams, desires or fulfillment. They have been destroyed, purged from all levels of consciousness, personal and collective, for myself, my children and their children, present and future.

The four of us now act as a single life. We follow our inner dictates.  Our experience of reality is nature’s dream come true – not only as stories we tell ourselves, but as Life reflects it in reality.  This life is WINKIAW for us all.  Everything we feel, sense, think, love, notice in our five sensory world reflects the fulfillment of our dream life. WINKIAW. 

I still paint, write, cook, shop, practice therapy and hang out with my family and friends. But I let Life and Nature take care of everything, so there is nothing to earn, deserve, prove, pretend; no one to impress; nothing to make happen.  This is the life I describe in the 11 th volume of The Bliss Series, Bliss Baby (upcoming). 

Doctor of Philosophy — York University, Toronto, Canada.
Field of Specialty: Inter-disciplinary Social Sciences. Dissertation Title: Patterns of Mind in the Theory and Practice of Cooperative Strategies. Areas of contribution: science as production of knowledge; cognitive psychology; business strategy evaluation; consciousness and neuroscience; social organization; linguistics to reflect that mind changes matter.

Bachelor of Arts (Philosophy Major) — University of Toronto.

Sorbonne – University of Paris, France

Scholarships or Fellowships:

• Faculty of Administrative Studies, York University, Toronto, Canada.
• Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council of Canada – 1994
• Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council of Canda – 1993

Social and Community Development Activist for Human Rights and the Environment.

Lanugages: 

Read, write and fluently speak French, English Hungarian and German.