If that does not make any sense to you, you are not alone. It took me many years, in silence and solitude, to discover that this is what we do. Listen to conversations, among friends, on talk shows, or on a loop in your head. What do we talk about most of the time? We complain about everything. We make reality wrong, in our bodies, lives, reality, finances, family members, each other and the world in general. We talk as if we knew better than nature, what reality should be, instead of what it is. I do the same, even now, after years of trying not to.

Officially, I know that when I try to “help” my children, I am actually interfering with their happiness. When I try to improve myself, I am actually killing the life that fulfills my nature’s dreams. When I try to make myself heard, loved, understood, I am waging war on Life’s miracles.

Today, my left ear is plugged. With this therapy that I practice, Life bores through my obstruction and I finally glimpse the reason for today’s deafness. It sounds like this: “for years and years, we have worked on minding our business. But we are still too busy minding other people’s business instead, and ignoring, silencing, shutting down the signals of intelligence that try to drag our awareness back to our own life. I say it “sounded” like this message, but I don’t mean that it made sounds. There were no actual sensations, only light, illuminating this awareness. 

Until this moment, I couldn’t recognize that I was still trying to control my children’s experience of life, in my mind, even though I learned long ago not to speak a word of criticism. The drama unfolds in my consciousness. That inner story is all it takes to distract my attention from my business to not my business, and therefore, away from living my life. Unlived life is unlived love, truth, nature, health, happiness, success or fulfillment. Like earlier humanoid life forms, we talk, but our words scam rather than illuminate. We listen, but what we hear is our brain’s chatter about what we plan to say next. We pretend to be omniscient and omnipotent, but are actually, barely, if at all intelligent life forms.

I say this with sincerity, because our two hundred thousand years of walking upright are just a blink from a cosmic point of view. We are barely more evolved than our four legged ancestors, even though the paradise we live in today is infinitely richer, at least in material ways. We still spin the same stories about the same issues, year in, and year out. We institutionalize the same beliefs about justice and nature, about love and responsibility, about truth and living through human bodies. We still pretend to be separate individuals, with powers and freedoms to create what we want and force our dreams on others. We still socialize our children to believe that they are supposed to be superheros, and rule their world, even though we know that there is no such thing, and that we are setting them up to feel like failures.

This is not me, pointing fingers here. I am the same as everyone else. I am just recently becoming aware of other options. I am still revising my stories from pretending to be who I am not, and to not be who I am. When these stories become my body’s reality, I still live in physical agony, as my body tries to create new neural pathways for new awareness.

I formed opinions about other people’s priorities, activities, practices, beliefs, life style, disciplines, self control. I pretended that I know about people other than myself and projected my preferences, my ideas, my reality on everyone around me. I pretended to know better than nature, what others should or should not be or do. I pretended that the people I disagreed with are going against what life intends for them, and that their life choices are making them unhealthy, unhappy, unsuccessful, unsatisfied. I pretended that my criticisms were motivated by my love for them, and were not about my absence of love for myself.

I officially know that everything we can possibly perceive as our experience of reality is always, without exception, about ourselves. All experience reflects either what we love to experience or what we pretend to want. How our body responds to an experience tells us whether it is true, real and therefore, the fulfillment of our nature, or false, not love, not life and not our nature’s fulfillment.

Truth feels good, light, energizing, exciting and drives us toward action. Falsehood feels empty, heavy and saps our energy. This is how life makes sure that we are always clearly guided towards health, happiness, success and the fulfillment of our reason for being here.

I officially know all this, because I have practiced metaphysical therapy for many years, helping others and, it turns out, healing the many scams living through my life, at the same time. Miracles were routinely reported by people I helped, yet I still don’t hear my own body’s messages for helping myself. I still do some things that I vehemently released, and repeatedly asked to never experience again.

I try not to get angry with myself for being so deaf and dumb, for not getting my intelligence signals, for not hearing and following what life is calling me to notice. I try not to get mad at myself for being like a baby, a few months old, not yet able to sit, crawl or walk.

I try to be patient with this body’s slow evolution. Like a baby, it takes one tentative step at a time, then falls, then tries again. And then, I am shown the loving and gentle truth of our being nature: the baby that I am, just learning to understand the world I have just come into.

Intelligence evolves, like other aspects of us, one notch at a time. We perceive a few blips on our screen and engage with them, then more blips show up and we string them together the best we can, based on what we have so far. Like a giant puzzle, we get some pieces, and find a few that fit together, but the whole picture is far from apparent.

Every so often, a quantum shift happens, and some new truth is illuminated, more pieces fit together and get integrated into our experience. These quantum shifts change all other blips of consciousness, and a new perceptual lens is born, giving us clearer sight. This is how we grow and eventually experience intelligence. Not much at first, but more and more, every day that we spend seeking truth, fulfillment and love.

Knowing that we don’t know anything about each other comforts me. I am not stupid, a failure, or unworthy of love; I am not supposed to know anything about anyone but myself! I am, however, supposed to love the intelligence coming to me through the mirrors that other people hold up to me, so I can recognize myself. That is why our bodies are equipped with an internal Genie, a signaling system. When I feel good, I know I perceive truth, love, life, intelligence, nature’s fulfillment. When I feel empty, I recognize falsehood and withdraw myself from all its traces. None of the mirrors can influence my reality, but my reaction to their messages can and is supposed to make meaning of my reality! My response to the intelligence that Life presents for us to perceive, sense and experience determines how I live.

Reality is always the physical reflection of its creator’s bliss. It never stops being bliss. Only my story can make it Not Bliss. Only my story can make my life experience one of struggle, suffering, scarcity and death.

The only thing I control is my story about my reality. How I write that story creates my life experience. My Now-story about our human experience is that we are beloved miracles of nature, and our life experience becomes food for nature’s next dreams. We are nature’s Trust Babies! Our Trust is an abundance of miracles that become the material reality of stuff, that we can experience as the fulfillment of our dreams.